Trainers and friends and points in between

I attended my first functional training class last night as a part of an eight-week "bootcamp" at LadyGym. As I was just telling Mare Bear on our Lose It! friend comments bologna, I really liked it, even though it kicked my ass and, as Max Silvestri said in his act that I saw before both John Mulaney and Aziz Ansari, shredded my bis and quis. I'm stiff and hurting in my arms--that's the planks and "mini-planks" (where you lower yourself down to your forearms one at a time, then go back to regular plank) and push-ups--and my beeeeehind--that's the squats with kettlebell and buckets of lunges--but I was so happy to have gone and made it through. The trainer was such a great combination of no-nonsense--she had us run a round of sprints again when several members of the group (NOT ME) did not listen to her directions--and encouraging (explaining to me to pinch my abs to my "back pockets" during my push-ups to work my core more), and it made me excited to continue on, even though my schedule is getting pretty cramped with PHR prep and volunteer work and continuing to train for the 5K

I'd been thinking about the bootcamp for most of March, but having a conversation with Duse motivated me to go and sign up last Saturday. She's been doing her own thing for her health and fitness up dere in St. Paul, dontcha know--wokka wokka, Fargo!--and we've been spending a lot of our phone chat time inundating each other with food talk and exercise talk. It has been great: not only do we get to get all the obsessing and planning out of our systems, but we protect our other friends and loved ones from having to hear the constant monologue in our heads. She's been trying all sorts of stuff, like hot yoga and WW recipes, and I share with her all the 5K nonsense and feedback on all the classes I've tried at LadyGym.

But going last night and having a really positive experience, surrounded by other gals--most of them younger, damn them--made me reflect on how lucky I am to have so many strong and supportive friends in my corner. I guess something about the way we all came together in a circle at the beginning and end of the bootcamp class reminded* me of the network of friends who surrounded me in the days after my mom died, who took me shopping for a funeral suit and didn't think anything of stopping with me when I had to sit down and catch my breath for a minute, nor think twice about buying a toaster to replace Dad's grody and annoying one because that was the problem I fixated on that seemed to have a solution, rather than the very, very unsolvable challenge that loomed over Dad and Andy and Tony and me. There they were, Julie and Mary and Tracey, girls I'd went to college with, had pretty dumbass fights with--in Julie's case, still do on an annual basis--drunk with and cried with (mostly over stupid boys)--surrounding me and keeping me standing and steady enough to do weird, hard tasks like play hostess at my mom's wake about 30 years too early, by my count.

*Well, reminded me, with less burpees and jumping jacks, that is...

---

And if I want to stretch the metaphor out, the trainer, the person who focused me and challenged me and supported me and helped me get stronger would be Kate and Duse. Kate saw me onto the plane to get back to my family, packed my suitcase full of dirty clothes--because I have a lifelong habit of always having at least three loads to do, minimum--and was my compass when I returned to Chicago, where I usually cried in the kitchen while doing dishes and wandered around lost and numb through our shared living space (and poor Mike, her future husband, who is such a dude...). And Duse, after receiving such a hard phone call where I didn't give her much room for her own reaction, picked me up from the airport and drove me all the way to Amery, where she stayed for three days, seemingly without a second thought to her own responsibilities. They're both definitely different, Kate and Duse--one introverted, one very much not introverted--but they're two of the best friends a girl could have and will have, hopefully, until the day I die (cause of death: buried under a pile of cats), and I take so much inspiration from how they've faced the challenges in their own lives--getting married, buying houses, turning a hobby into an amazing and award-winning skill, having parents face health crises--and the way the two of them have been front-line cheerleaders as I began to change my eating and exercise habits has made it easier and easier to tamp down the occasional negative voice in my head that says I have a long way to go or that something, like running for longer than 90 seconds at a time, is impossible.

---

I guess overall, it is a positive thing that this phase of getting healthier is helping me revisit the past six years from a different angle. I never want to bury it. And for how true it felt when I said my mom broke my heart, it makes me feel hopeful when I seem to be glued back together in a mostly whole piece, not too crooked or buh-janked. And I'm glad I have my circle of gals, whether we rode the E bus to "town" for elementary school, went to UWEC or Harlaxton, met over the Interwebs and points between, or married my smelly brothers, who still inspire me, challenge me and, from time to time, kick my ass and make me stronger. I may not have a man in my life--you know, a for-real one, not, like, Jeremy Renner or the guys on Southland--but I don't feel incomplete in any way (probably unfortunately for my aunts, who still hold out for a wedding).

---

Enough maudlin bologna! I am wearing this top today courtesy of Gwynnie Bee:

Pictured: not me, though I wish, 'cause those shoes are great

Too bad it is currently out of stock at Igigi, or else I would have ordered it. It's so pretty and flattering. I looooooooove it. And after I send it back tomorrow, I will begin wearing some of my recent thrifting/eBay finds!